DAVID. ELMALEH.
I'm a narcissist, so it's convenient that making a personal website is the "thing to do" nowadays.
- Published Work
- Stand-Up
- Videos
- @davidelmaleh
- Contact Me
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Posts
Check out the copy I co-wrote for Time To Sign Off’s New York, Los Angeles, and Chicago newsletters:
Check out the articles I’ve written for Bit Rebels:
RecordSetter World Record Day: Set A Record & Be The Best!
Diablo 3 Open Beta Begins Today
Check out the blog posts I’ve written for RecordSetter:
Feat of the Week: Brian Pankey Balances A Tree On His Chin
Feat of the Week: Dog Licks Face Covered in Peanut Butter [As Seen on Tosh.0]
Check out the articles I’ve written for LionsDenU:
Top 5 Ways To Ruin Your Movie Theatre Experience
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Uploads
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Posts
Psy - Gentleman M/V: Horror Movie Trailer Edition (Parody)
Written & Edited By: David Elmaleh
Leaked Apple Mac Vs. PC Ad (Comedy Sketch)
Written & Edited By: David Elmaleh
Produced & Directed By: Jocelyne Roueiheb & David Elmaleh
Takin’ the F Train (Comedy Sketch)
Written By: David Elmaleh
Directed By: Jocelyne Roueiheb & David Elmaleh
OFFICIAL SELECTION at Cinebeast’s 2013 The Subway Series Film Festival
DISH Network - AMC = Mad Man. (Comedy Sketch)
Written & Directed By: David Elmaleh & Jocelyne Roueiheb
Starring: Michael Delisle, Matt Morea, Larry Stockel, Cyrus Banisi, Tommy Meyer, & David Elmaleh.
Coping With I.W.S. (Comedy Sketch)
Written By: David Elmaleh
Starring: David Elmaleh, Melody Conte, Tommy Meyer, Ohene Cornelius, Regina Gibson, Matt Morea, Larry Stockel, Evan Krumholz, Kaitlyn Herzog, Steve Ling, Jennifer La Volpe, Brad Becker-Parton, Mitchell Lyubarsky, and Nikki Michaelson.
Subhash Santosh: Idiot. Buffoon. Actor. (Short Film)
Written & Directed By: Subhash Santosh & David Elmaleh
WINNER at 2012 U.W.O. Film Festival for “Best Doc/Mocumentary” and “Viewers’ Choice”
The Semite (Comedy Sketch)
Written By: David Elmaleh & Subhash Santosh
Directed By: David Elmaleh, Subhash Santosh, & Taimoor Ahmed Tariq
Starring: David Elmaleh, Subhash Santosh, Rabbi Mordechai Silberberg, & Josh Litman
Sex, Dance, & iPads (Short Film)
Written By: David Elmaleh
Directed By: David Elmaleh & Kelvin Lee
Starring: David Elmaleh, Kelvin Lee, Lorna Murataj, Elaine Chan, Shirley Chen, & Marco Tagliariol
Balls Deep (Short Film)
Written By: Josh Litman & David Elmaleh
Starring: Shawn Lotte & Subhash Santosh
We Eat Films - The Green Hornet (Web Series)
Written By: David Elmaleh
Starring: Subhash Santosh, Rebecca French, Josh Litman, Andrew Pel, Shawn Lotte, Jessica Park, & Eryl McCaffery
We Eat Films - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (Web Series)
Written By: David Elmaleh & Subhash Santosh
Starring: David Elmaleh, Subhash Santosh, Rebecca French, Josh Litman, Andrew Pel, Shawn Lotte, Jessica Park, & Al Val
Shelf Life (Short Film)
Written & Directed By: David Elmaleh & Subhash Santosh
Starring: Orange Book as “Orange Book” & David Elmaleh as “Illiterate Fool”
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Tweets
- If I had a dog named Fido that chewed up my wireless router, I'd ask "Why, Fi?".
- I don't have an email account because my kosher dietary restrictions forbid Spam.
- Can I tell you something about the Parker Brothers? They each Hasbro.Apr 12, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- I've left my mark on life -- mainly through not owning any coasters.
- Everyone is their own worst critic, except for Roger Ebert.
- The last time I felt a pair of melons was at the supermarket.
- May your Sunday night be filled with discomfort and awkwardness during Game of Thrones' sex scenes.
- BREAKING: The story of my kitchen vase.
- Q shaved its mustache and became O.
- If you ordered a "Tall Black" 100 years ago, you wouldn't get a coffee.
- Don't you hate it when you text exclamation points instead of question marks!Mar 29, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- The only sex I have is Male.Mar 29, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- I want to comma on my girlfriend even though she's on her period.
- I wish the world would subscribe to Monopoly's stance on parking.Mar 22, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Breasts consistently grab my attention, so why am I not allowed to grab them in return?
- Who was Bobby, and why did he have so many pins?
- Riding the subway is like wine tasting for your nose.
- A fitting room is a fitting room to be in a clothing store.
- Instead of pausing a video game, you should be able to menopause it and turn all the characters into mood swinging middle-aged women.Mar 14, 13 from web Reply, Retweet, Favorite
- Pussycat is to Female Cat as Dickcat is to Male Cat.
